The Bad Guys Strike Again…

I fight because I want to be a better person. I fight because I deserve better. I fight for my future generations. I fight because I deserve happy and healthy. And I fight because life is worth living.
And it’s tough. Very very tough. The battlefield in my head is bloody and harsh. I fight demons. Demons that want to kill me and tear me apart. Demons that are my own. And still, I fight. I fight for life. For dear life.
Do people know? No. Do they care? Not really. People get tired quickly of hearing other people’s stories. People ask how are you because they need to be polite not because they care to know if I’m having a good day or bad day. And still I fight. A secret war. A silent fight. Nobody knowing. But I do it for myself; for my life. So who cares, right?
But maybe just maybe if people would know how tough it is they would say something nice. Chocolate maybe. A hug maybe. Something to tell me that my fight matters and I’m not alone. Cuz right now I feel like the loneliest human being alive. 
I am not disabled. I am human. Like you and you and you. We just fight different battles. It’s not that I’m giving up. But maybe I need a break. A break sounds ideal. But isn’t my life one big break? Spending my days at a coffee shop, idling in bed, walking the streets… That’s a break. Only, it’s a break that causes more trouble. 
I don’t know what I need right now. Lots of practical and technical assistance. But maybe I just need to hear that people care and they want me here and my fight matters to them.

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Author: Gittel

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his own personality to the world he lives in. -Guitar-Watercolors-Poetry-Journaling-Blogging-Teddy Bear Petting-

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