I am currently in the process of healing, having been through several suicidal attempts due to my anxiety and depression. Recovery is a rather slow course and a long road. Yet, each day I am one step closer to my final goal. I say it is a long road because sometimes I fall back. They say, old habits die hard. And they’re right. It is hard to tackle stress when the only coping mechanism my brain knows is suicidal thoughts. Still, I don’t let those instances of relapse define me. I am patiently teaching my mind and heart new and healthy strategies on how to cope with pain.
I know what despair feels like; I’ve been there not too long ago. And, nobody should ever have to feel what darkness is like. That is why I am writing. I have launched this blog to talk about the bittersweet and to spread awareness. In no way though, is this in place or instead of professional help from a trained or licensed individual.
I am profoundly touched and honored when people come forward and tell me that I have made a difference. Even more so, when it is the people in pain who reach out; for I know their world and I know what strength it takes to break the silent and isolated suffering. Yes, it is for those of you that I write. I want to give that secluded world of heartache a voice; the voice it so deserves. Furthermore, I want to encourage you to take a step out of that world, reach out and ask for help.
But, I am not -and cannot be- in place of professional help. I am not a trained professional. I am not a licensed therapist. I do not have a PhD in psychology. Nor do I know you or your life-story. There is no way for me to know what makes you tick and what triggers you. Thus, I will say that asking me for professional advice is not a good idea. I am not in a position to give you that. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reach out. You should. But please, reach out to someone who can help you; someone professional who will guide you through the ups and downs of mental illness. If you tell a therapist that you are thinking of hurting yourself he/she is mandated to alert the proper authorities and together they can work out a plan of care that works for you. So many wonderful and caring professionals are willing to assist you in your journey if you only allow them.
I am in recovery myself and I cannot allow myself to be dragged back into those dark places. I cannot afford to be triggered into destructive behavior again. I want to be a good friend and be here for everyone; but first myself.
Reach out to someone trained and professional who can help you with real, solid advice. Get started on the road to recovery and we can meet there.