Breaking The Silence

Fake smile
dried eyes
scratched wrists
bruised thighs

white pills
rope tied
gun loaded

suicide.

There, I’ve said it. The word. The word that has killed people in pain, has torn families and friends apart and has been ignored for far too long. And I’m here to change that. No, my words cannot change the world, but maybe it can ignite a small flame. A flame that with the help of others can turn into a fire too big to be extinguished by turning a blind eye.

Suicide. It is real. It’s out there consuming everything in its way. To suicide it doesn’t matter if you smile on the street and what others think. To suicide it doesn’t matter that nobody is aware of the fatal struggles taking place in the battlefield of your own heart. To suicide it doesn’t matter how many Facebook friends, Instagram followers, phone calls, family dinners or parties. When suicide strikes, you’re out.

I, myself, have dealt with suicidal thoughts for quite some time. I’ve contemplated my end and struggled to fight the urge. Yes, it is hard to fight alone. People struggling with suicidal thoughts or feelings generally feel very isolated and alone. They tend to feel like there is absolutely nobody out there who would care enough should they choose to disappear forever. They believe (and when I say believe I mean believe with utmost certainty), they are a burden to society and they will make everyone’s life easier by leaving.

You might argue that those thoughts aren’t rational. I will agree with you. But I will also tell you that suicide transcends logic. And when a person reaches that point it is a point of no return. Those thoughts, beliefs and emotions become who they are until there is nothing left of them but an emptiness that only death can cure. It’s frightening. And it’s not the kind of scary that passes after the movie is over. Because, whether we’d like to admit it or not, more people are hiding behind a facade than what we think. And so many of them are family, neighbors and good friends.

And therefore, I am writing today. If you have a friend who’s distancing or isolating him/her self, please, please reach out. If your friend’s smile doesn’t reach their eyes please ask them how you can be of help. If your friend talks of life as if it’s over, please tell them that you are there for them. And if your friend seems to be suffering, please reassure them that you care and they are not alone. Don’t believe them when they tell you they are fine. Behind the words ‘I’m fine’, lie the biggest demons.

You might be the one to save a life. We have lost too many and we cannot afford to lose any more. Reach out. Show your friends and family that you care. I am here today to write this, because people cared enough to worry about me. And I am eternally grateful to my lifesaver. And I know that I can only repay him by letting the world know that suicide doesn’t discriminate. Suicidal thoughts happen to the best of us and nobody deserves to suffer alone.

Now. Now is the perfect moment to reach out. Place that phone call. Send that text message. Check in with your fellow friends. You might be the person to prevent the next tragedy.

And to those of you suffering of suicidal thoughts. You are not alone. Please, reach out for help. People care for you; a lot more than you think they do. Nobody wants you to suffer alone. There are many resources out there that can help you. Been there, done that. And I am glad to be here today.

Life does get better.

Thank you to all of my good friends. And thank you, Mordechai. This one is for you, for you have saved my life.

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Author: Gittel

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his own personality to the world he lives in. -Guitar-Watercolors-Poetry-Journaling-Blogging-Teddy Bear Petting-

4 thoughts on “Breaking The Silence”

  1. Just wow wow!! So true, thanks for having the courage of writing and sharing your experience,

    And above all else, how much hope you give to the one who suffers alone, first that he is not alone, second, there is hope and there is help. there is light at the end of struggle Life does get better.

    Thanks

    Like

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